Next Breath Of Purpose

     "Everything in the world is about to be wrapped up, so take nothing for granted.  Stay wide awake in prayer.  Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it.  Love makes up for practically anything.  Be quick to give a meal to the hungry, a bed to the homeless - cheerfully.  Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it:  if words, let it be God's words; if help, let it be God's hearty help. That way, God's bright presence will be evident in everything through Jesus, and he'll get all the credit as the One might in everything - encores to the end of time.  Oh, yes!"  I Peter 4:7-11 MSG

     Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow - no one - not even the next minute! 

     I found myself pausing over that last line because honestly it's a thought that is a bit unsettling and real, and as God has gifted me the very breath I breathe right now, He has the power to take it away right now.  Don't take my words wrong - God is not one who is entertained by His power to snatch somebody's life away just because it's fun.  No.  My point is that He has all the power to give life and to take it away.  And He is encompassed with Love as well because HE IS LOVE.   I just realized that may not make any sense either.   You and I are stuck between common sense and God-sense much of the time - when life doesn't make any sense to anyone else but us, or doesn't make sense to even us.  He has His ways and most times we will not comprehend this side of eternity.  We will need to lean on trusting Him, and that's not an easy task until it becomes a task of habit and routine - an automatic mindset. 

     Dad has been speaking into the Summer Staff lives the past couple of weeks about living in the minute, and it happens to coincide with my thoughts about not taking for granted our next breath.  You see, your Dad and I are praying about our "next assignment" after August 30th (that's when this one ends here at Camp).   Sometimes we become so wrapped up in thoughts of our future that we are taking a chance in missing the moments right in front of us.  Yes, most times it is wise to plan ahead, because it says that in God's word (Proverbs 16:3, 9; 19:21).  It also says that once we lay our plans out God may be tweaking them to fit His purpose.  And most often that is the case.   So, we have made it a practice to ask God to close doors that have been presented to us if that is not the direction He wants us to go.  This year up to this point all of the doors have closed accept for one - Black Lake Bible Camp.  This is where we are, where God has placed us purposefully and intentionally.   To the world, it may not make sense; but because of the way that we follow after God's heart, to us it makes perfect sense. 

     This next week we are scheduled to have a 3rd interview with a ministry we did not plan to walk through initially.  It offers the opportunity to be near one of you.  Yet, we are conflicted - we wrestle with wanting so badly to be near you and knowing that being in the center of God's will is best.  We are unsure if those two thoughts will in fact be one after August 30th.  So, as I have mentioned above our prayer is that God will close the door this week if that is not where He needs us to be after the summer.  Until then, we will live in the minute not taking for granted our next breath - living purposefully and intentionally.

     I pray that this post speaks to you in some way as well.  I love you and miss you so much!

Because I'm still .....

                              Mom(ma Bear)

P.S.  Fun fact:  This camp gives the staff camp names for life based on God stories we share.  Dad's name is Rillo and I was dubbed MOMMA BEAR!  Lol.  Taylyr, where did you get your Mama Bear shirt?  I need one!  :) 

Somewhere In Between

     Between the words "Still" and "Mom" in my blog name there lies a whole other story of a life that is messy and forgiving, full of failure and faith; one that waits to be written to anyone who wants to read and maybe even relate.  It's a story that hopefully someday might give you a refreshing perspective and a hope you can take with you into your future of being a wife, a friend, a daughter or a mom.  There's much to share between those two words.  For a long time those two did not get along - did not fit like puzzle pieces within me - but now they do.  There have been many years of learning and failing and crying and laughing and hitting a wall before those two united.  But they united and it's a happy place to be at such a time as this.

     Somewhere in between there's you and me and it got messy, yet forgiveness was a faithful friend; somebody always failed, yet our faith always led us back to our Savior - and that point right there has always been the binding agent that has kept us intact and talking and forgiving and in time, letting go to allow the "still" to become a part of me.  I will always be "Mom", yet I have never really been a "Still Mom" ... until now.  In me there is a calm and a peace that only can be explained through the lens of a God that is full of Grace and is defined as Love.  I haven't gained the stillness (or even the happy) because you are no longer in my nest.  No, that stillness (and happy) has been learned through the painful lesson of letting go when I wanted to hold tight for dear life to the very thing I had dreamed so long ago - a full nest of my own.  And my happy doesn't come from your absence; on the contrary, it only comes from the discovery of being still.

     And now my nest is empty - and my dream has been lived.  And somewhere in between those two realities is a wonderful story of you.

     It's a story that waits to be written.  It's a story that comes with different perspectives.  It's a story that has different authors. 

     It's a story somewhere in between you and me.

I love you, sweet, gifted, beautiful, smart daughters of mine!  And I miss you more than you know.

Happily,
       Still Mom