Frankly, that's just it - whether bad grammar, different accent, used apparel, or overweight - what we look or sound like on the outside is barely touching the surface. Under the flawed and broken, or barbie-doll affect even, we will find a unique treasure hand-crafted into a masterpiece with a purpose for this world. We will find a soul-searching, God-needing person that has a craving to be loved and to love. We will find someone who we don't like sometimes and one that we do. And for me, there is only one person that has the power and permission to change this person within - and that is Jesus, the great I AM.
This morning your Dad took me to Fred Meyers in Oregon. It's similar to a Super Wal-Mart, but FM has a much better and larger clothing selection and area to choose from - not to mention, NO SALES TAX here!! I haven't been feeling very pretty because of my weight and large clothes in which I feel like I'm swimming in and I didn't really bring anything nice to wear on this vacation. An unplanned interview is coming up in the next day and my insecurity began making its way to the surface.
New clothes are a rarity in my closet because I don't much like buying for myself. Though, today was different as red tag sales were blaring at me. Spring was everywhere in this store - pretty flowery colors that made me feel pretty just by looking at them. So, as you can imagine - your Dad being the generous man that he is - helped me pick out a few spring blouses and a pair of smaller-sized jeans that actually fit! I changed into my new outfit and am now feeling like a million bucks - or pretty tulips. Tulips are blooming everywhere here. They, too, give me a sense of pretty.
New and good fitting clothes, a new haircut, a little makeup and a somebody to speak a compliment to me - all of these satisfy my insecurity of feeling less-than what I ought to be. What I ought to be feeling is that I is what I is because God made me and Jesus is doing a work in me. In fact, He already has - I just need to accept that fact, be good with it and then live within that framework.
It's not the outside that is of worth - what people see. It's the treasure that you allow to flow out of you - And honestly, if what's inside is good then the outside will be pleasing.
Sweet daughters of mine - because I'm still Mom - if what others around you see or hear coming out is not much treasure worthy then the work that Jesus is doing in you may need to be reexamined and evaluated and considered by you. Not that He needs to change, because what He's doing in you is an excellent and worthy thing.
I've witnessed beauty in all three of you and I'm so proud of you. If you're anything like me, though, there will be insecurity that will lurk around wanting to devour the confidence and humility that you've grown to have. Watch out for it. It will sound rude and haughty or self-hate and disrespect to yourself will be evident. Deception walks hand-in-hand with insecurity because there's no doubt that most times we are not aware of our insecurities when they present themselves. Just be aware and then be ready to tackle it when you know.
You are gorgeous ladies who know who you is. Just get out there and show it!
I is who I is with love,
Mom
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